Guess what I’m going to do? I’m just going to write, instead of waiting for inspiration or the perfect story. Because otherwise, I’m never going to post anything to this blog. Then nobody would know what I’m up to. (Nobody would get their feelings unintentionally hurt either, but hey.)
My good friend Kelia left to study abroad in Germany about a week ago. It’s mostly similar to what I’m doing in Panama: live with host family, learn the language, learn the culture, try to survive for a year, etc etc, only with two major differences. 1). She has a full scholarship (through FLAG-CBYX), and 2). Kelia has a tumblr blog, which she keep regularly updated.
So, I’m going to try to follow her example where I can. It’s too late for a full scholarship; it was always too late. AFS doesn’t offer them to people like me in my area. They did give me a (somewhat small) scholarship for $200 because my dad went to Australia when he was my age, but other than that, my family was on it’s own in terms of tuition.
Updating my blog regularly is all on me, though, and I don’t have any excuses (that would hold up in a court of law). That’s not to say that I don’t have any excuses! I have lots!
I’m busy (not really, I’m not enrolled in school because I’d leave a month in).
There’s nothing AFS-related to write about (not really, I’ve gotten some baggage ties and more host family information. <<oh, forgot to tell the greater internet community about that.>> By the way, I got assigned a host family! Surprise!).
The internet can be a scary place where all personal information and opinions are forever inscribed and available to whoever wants to look at them so if I say something stupid in a moment of weakness or temporary brain damage I can never take it back and everybody from home and host home can look at it and make judgements that might forever hurt relations between me and my family and friends and possible career opportunities! (Not really–oh wait, yes really)
So I might be a little worried about putting stuff on the internet that I will wish I could take back. Hell, I’ll probably regret using a religious-themed swear word in this post, including this entire example, which I’m on the verge of deleting right now.
<<…it can stay. It proves my point, I think.>>
That’s one of the reasons I’m having trouble keeping my blog updated. I don’t want to offend anybody, and I don’t want to close any doors. This kind of caution…. it’s kind of annoying at times. It gets to the point where I don’t even want to repeat things from out of the guidebook on the area where I’ll be living for fear of hurting the feelings of the people who live there. I don’t think they even speak English! But all the same, what if….
What if seems to be a common theme in my blog posts (see End of May).
This has been good. I’ve got to go to bed early tonight; got a early morning ahead! I’ll save the AFS related stuff for a different post, so that I’ll be sure to have content.
As always, thanks for reading. Feel free to leave a comment with thoughts or advice. Or just to say hi so I know somebody’s reading it. :P Love you parents!
Okay, last comment. (except for the post script <<which I’ve actually already written and formatted>>.) You know how college is suppose to be a big priority once you turn 13 or so? Because of that, I’ve been thinking about it. I thought I wanted to do a creative writing degree, or maybe English, so that I could write creatively better. However, I think I have enough talent to write well already, and would rather be in writing clubs and learn from experience than spend lots of time and money on a college degree on good writing. So, I’ll go to college and expand my ‘ideas pool’ by studying International Relations and other interdisciplinary majors. International Relations has interested me by name ever since we did an amazing discussion-based class debate and analysis of using the nuclear bomb to end WWII in Humanities using Brown University’s International Relations worksheets. Based on what I’ve heard about the degree, what I like to learn about, and how I spend my free time, International relations is one of the best choices for me.
Good thing I’m spending a year abroad!
P.S. Advice to those wanting to travel abroad with an student exchange organization: try to look at all your options before deciding on a organization, program duration, and country. AFS is filled with caring people, and I’m so glad they’ve got my back, but at the same time, I wish I could have found a full scholarship program like Kelia did. They’re out there. I just didn’t look very hard. Best of luck to you all.